The DiNozzo Diaries 3
by rekkidbraka
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash. HIATUS FOR NOW. WILL RETURN.
1. Close Encounters Of The Third Kind

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Close Encounters Of The Third Kind  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

**-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Close Encounters Of The Third Kind ---------------------**

Tel Aviv. It's becoming my second home. Which makes sense since it's Ziva's FIRST home. I plan on spending a lot of time here in our future. Yeah... I said "our" future. Everything that went wrong in Rome and afterwards got me thinking about where she and I are at in our relationship. And where I want us to be.

Think I'm gonna check out some jewelers' places while I'm here. Just have a look, that's all. Price some rings... What? WHAT?!!!

Hang on... "Thinking about where she and I are at in our relationship?" God, I'm sounding like ... NOT me. I'm sounding like... like... Probie.

What's really scary is... it doesn't bother me. What the hell's WRONG with me?

_------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Called Abs. Told her I'm talking like McSensitive. She says it's OK, totally normal; that I'm "nesting." Nesting. NESTING! Like some damn bird. MEN DON'T NEST, ABBY! I'M TOO HAIRY TO NEST! _*snarl*_

Christ, it's hot. I'm sweating like a horse. Haven't had a decent hair day since we got to Tel Aviv. This place is HELL on style. But a man can work up a sweet tan here, so that's something. Come to think of it, I haven't had a pedicure in a while. My dogs deserve it. I'm on 'em all the time, taking down the bad guys. Gotta take care of the tootsies.

Nesting... Yeah, right. _*snort*_

_------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Ziva and I have been staying at this place some friend of hers from Mossad sub-lets when she's off on international diplomatic missions or promoting Israel's world security initiatives or assassinating enemies of the state or whatever it is that's in her job description. Nice apartment she's got; amazing Uzi collection. Most girls just go in for that cheesy fake "art" from IKEA or Pottery Barn so I gotta respect the unique sense of decor here.

Haven't headed over to Chez Daddy-O's yet. But Z just told me she's gonna go hit the old Mossad firing range for an hour or so. Sounds like she'll be ready for a nice family dinner after squeezing off a few rounds. Me, I'm taking a nap. After I examine this chick's mini-bar. Got a feeling I'll need a drink before we go visit Big D. Maybe two drinks.

_------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Ahhhh... My darling's back from her afternoon of blowing stuff away. Said she nailed every target the Mossad range had. Wasn't happy that she only had eight of ten headshots, though. They finally just asked her to save some for the other agents so she figured it was time to come home, shower and put on a nice dress for dinner. Some chicks shop 'til they drop; Ziva shoots.

Damn, I'm a lucky guy.

"What's that, Sweet Cheeks? Yeah, I already had my shower. While you were gone. I'm clean as a whistle. Heh heh... Huh? Yeah, well... Now that you mention it, I guess I _could_ use another good scrubbing..."

_------------------------------------------------------------------------_

And we're off to see The Big Guy, The Wonderful Wizard of You Don't Want Me After Your Ass.

Dinner and an interrogation.

I know I'M excited.

_Definitely_ shoulda had that third drink.


	2. As Good As It Gets

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: As Good As It Gets  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.  
**  
-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: As Good As It Gets ---------------------**

There's not enough kosher wine in the world to make this moment between Ziva and her old man -- this moment right now -- something I can handle.

OK, I'm lying. Because whatever Big D's got out on the table tonight is fantastic. Ahhhh... kosher, screw-top, out of a box or out of some dusty old cellar -- this stuff is PRIMO.

"Hey, Eli, what's this wine called?"

"It is Chateau Lafon-Rochet St. Estephe '03, Tony. Of Carmel Winery here in Israel. One of our finest vintners, Carmel."

"Ahhh... Well, lemme hand it to you. You know your grapes, Big Guy. Me, I could drink a whole bottle of this stuff by myself! Heh... You ... heh ... you GOT one I can crack open? Heh... I've just about run right through THIS one! Ha HAH! Ziva, you want any? Get it while you still can!"

"Tony, each bottle is $100."

Leave it to Sweet Cheeks to ruin a perfectly GREAT conversation. And NOW I've gotta pay for the dry cleaning of Daddy-O's best white shirt. Damn movies. Spit-takes always look HILARIOUS on the big screen. But in real life? Not.

And here I thought Eli was gonna grill us -- not the kosher lamb we're having for dinner -- over Ziva ditching her mission to come find me in Paris. Funny thing, he hasn't said word one about any of that. So I'm not saying anything about how he let me think Ziva was dead for a month. And didn't call me. But, yeah, lamb... looking forward to that. Smells great out here on this patio, roasting away.

Ziva and Daddy are playing it real cool -- all kisses and 'Papa' and 'Shalom' and Mossad mushiness. Seems like they're thick as thieves. Heh... I just... really DON'T get that. At ALL.

Hmmm... Just noticed that Hollis isn't here tonight. Weird.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ziva just told Eli that I'm on 'medical leave' from NCIS for the next month and I'll be helping with the mission. Whatever the 'mission' is.

Eli? Is... absolutely kosher with that.

And I mean that in the most serious sense of the word.

What the HELL is in this wine?

I need a private moment with Papa. A little mano-a-mano. I hope I live.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Tony, I am most pleased to have you assist Mossad in our mission. And please accept my apologies for my failure to contact you regarding Ziva's ... status ... of late."

"Well, let's just let 'turns out my girlfriend didn't really blow up in that car' bygones be bygones, huh? No hard feelings. These things happen."

"My apology to you is sincere."

"Look, I know it is. But I spent a month thinking Ziva was DEAD, Eli. I was on my way HERE to find you and get the truth about everything. Because I LOVE her. Thinking she was gone? Forever? Was KILLING me!"

"I am sorry. As Ziva can tell you, Tony, trying to balance our personal lives with the demands of Mossad is -- 'difficult' does not begin to describe the pressure. So much, we sacrifice. I, too, have suffered ... great loss. Many losses, in fact."

"Yeah... I can imagine. Just... trust me. Eli -- you can trust me. With this mission. With Ziva. With anything. Please believe that."

"I will try. That is all I can offer -- at this time."

"Then that's all I can ask."


	3. LA Confidential

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: L.A. Confidential  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.  
**  
-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: L.A. Confidential ---------------------**

Nothing like getting a three a.m. wake-up call from Abs to cure a hangover. Or make it worse. Got the latest breaking news from the ole home office back in D.C. and it sounds like all hell's breaking loose there.

Lemme break it down:

-- The Boss went ballistic after Vance OKed my month-long - _*ahem*_ - "medical leave" so he demanded a straight swap. Naturally, the L.A. bunch got the call at the trade deadline. This time it's Callen who's moved from the Playpen to the Bullpen. Welcome to the MAJORS, rookie! Ha HAH! We don't play that West Coast offense in GibbsTown!

-- Callen's been taking my GHM back issues to where he's staying (with Gibbs... GIBBS!) and God only knows what's happening to my girls down in that basement where the boats are birthed and the bourbon flows free. Hang in there, my lovelies. Sugar Lips is coming home. In a month.

-- Oh wait... took notes when Abby started talking REALLY fast about Gibbs losing it for the SECOND time in the Director's office. Heh... wish I'd been there to see that. Or hear it. Nobody ever really gets to see Vance's office much. Which is good. He's scary. Anyway, she said... ah! here we go: "Gibbs screamed something... super... oh... super-DUPER big-time loud and the walls shook." Hang on... can't read my writing... Well, it WAS three a.m. Shouldn't have had that second bottle of wine. Or I should've at least shared it with someone. Hmmm... OK, OK... "He told Vance to get ... helping a feel ... helping a FEEL? ... no ... that's not it ... ohhh... OHHHH! ... heh ... HELP IN THE FIELD ... because we are all working our I can't say the word because the nuns would kick me out of bowling league-blanking blankety-blanks off since Tony is playing grabass in the desert again." Ehhhh... Thanks. Thanks for that, Boss. You too, Abs.

-- Probie is thrilled because that chick from L.A. is coming with Callen to temporarily take Ziva's place. What the hell is her name? Kandy? McKenzie? Kudzu? Something weird that no man trying to send flowers after that special first night should ever have to try remembering. Or spelling. That's just Fatal Error territory right there -- OHHHHH YEAAAHHH! Note to self: Ask McSpellCheck if she's at least hot. Or as hot as the ICE Princess was. Shee-YEAH, we all know how THAT one worked out for Probie-Wan. As in, it DIDN'T. Heh heh heh...

-- Abby? Is not thrilled.

Damn. I'm gonna miss this catfight. McHorny better YouTube this. Plus make personal copies.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

YAWWWWNNNNNN... _*smack*_ ... _*smack*_ ... Yeah, I needed that nap. To sleep off oversleeping this morning after that crazy call from Abs. Now to find Sweet Cheeks for a little afternooner... Heh...

Hold it -- getting a text. That's probably Ziva now. She can't get enough of me.

_"It's... KENSI ... you ... jack... ass... Screwwww... yoooouuu..."_

Definitely not Ziva. She signs off with little ninja smileys. Hmmm...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meeting with Big D in three. Time to sober up. Maybe I'll just try acting that way.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Mossad's mission is a simple one, Tony. We identify enemies of Israel, we track enemies of Israel and we ... handle ... enemies of Israel."

"Sure sounds simple enough. Did you leave out the part where you KILL enemies of Israel?"

"As I say... our enemies are handled. However we must finish the job."

"So, Eli -- who's Ziva trying to ... 'handle' right now? And you need me for...?"

"Information. We have fine intelligence on Kort and Hadar -- both of whom we have been watching for months now."

"You KNEW Kort and Hadar were dirty?"

"Tony... One does not remain in my business for so many decades without picking up a few tricks and treats in the trade."

"I think you mean... uhhh... never mind. Well, thing is, I can't help you with either YOUR traitor, Hadar, or OUR traitor, Kort. Not that I wouldn't love to do anything to put Where's Baldo six feet UNDER the lockup. But I got nothing on him. Or whatever he and Hadar had going on."

"That is not the information I seek. You do have... intimate knowledge of Jeanne Benoit, however."

"Yeah. Thanks for the reminder."

"And she remains a key Mossad foe."

"To be handled."

"Naturally."

"Then I'm your guy."


	4. The Killer Inside Me

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: The Killer Inside Me  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

**-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: The Killer Inside Me ---------------------**

My mission, if I choose to accept it, is to 'handle' my ex-girlfriend, Jeanne, the daughter of the notorious international arms dealer La Grenouille. When we dated, she was a doctor -- or so I thought. Turns out she's a doctor... and the heir to daddy's weapons-selling business. She's apparently at least as good at it as The Ole Croaker was because my fianceé's daddy, who runs Mossad, wants her 'handled.' That means 'dead' in Mossad-speak.

It's my mission. I chose to accept it.

Because I've 'handled' Jeanne before, in other ways, in the past. And trust me -- just remembering that period of my life?

Makes me wish I were dead. Sometimes.

But this time? I'd like to make _sure_ she's dead.

_Forever._

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've never understood before.

I never really _got_ how Ziva or Gibbs -- even how Jenny -- was just able to take someone out. Kill that person without giving a damn that they were dead. Or that they were gonna die -- you know, when they were planning it.

Maybe I'm seeing it now.

All the things Jeanne's done -- to Ziva, to Jenny, to Kate, to me -- and she just walks every time.

It can't go on. Gotta stop.

It's not enough anymore to talk about it.

I've gotta make it happen.

That's the difference: Doing, not talking.

And this time, I'm following through. No more Mr. Nice Guy, Mr. Follow NCIS Protocol. I got Mossad backing on this one.

You're gonna pay, Jeanne. It's time.

Actually, the way I see it... you're _really_ overdue.


	5. Never On Sunday

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Never On Sunday  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.  
**  
-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Never On Sunday ---------------------**

Guess I'm not such a _special_ agent after all.

Ziva says Eli wants me "in shape" for the mission. What? I'm not in shape _now?_ C'mon... Look at these GUNS! No, I mean my _arms_...

Speaking of muscles, that reminds me -- Abs... I gotta call her tonight. See how things are going back home in ProbieLand. You talk about a guy who needs to tone up, there's your poster boy for pudge-o-rama. McGoo never met a burrito he didn't like. Just look at his McGut! Ha HAH!

"You are insulting McGee again, Tony?"

"Is it Sunday?"

"It is."

"Then, yeah."

"Are you not the one who regularly rips up the vending machine back at NCIS headquarters to secure your coveted afternoon snacks?"

"It's rip _OFF_ the vending machine, Sweet Cheeks. And my snack time is sacred. Not unlike your trips to the Navy Yard gym for your 'kickboxing' workouts -- where you sweat off the day's stress with a roomful of shirtless young sailors."

"The difference, my little Furry Mutt, is that my... indulgence does _not_ add inches to my waistline."

"No. But it adds inches to _those_ guys. _Below_ the waistline."

"Are we fighting?"

"Of course not. We're bantering."

"Well, let us banter _after_ we have gotten in your first workout."

"Wait... we talking American-type workout or Mossad-type workout?"

"Your mission is for Mossad. You must meet our standards."

"Those standards... they include actually LIVING to carry out the mission, right?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

God... please... no... more....

Can't... move...

Can't... breathe...

Need... doctor... now...

"Tony, that is 30 push-ups."

Ziva... trying... to... BREAK... me...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

After this afternoon's workout, I've been in bed all evening. And not in the way I _like_.

I'm just lying here, trying not to die. Or move. Or blink. Or breathe. Or do anything, really. Not that I could.

I can't feel my face.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh... Ziva told me that one part of Mossad's "mission training" is self-denial. Not eating stuff you enjoy, not drinking, not hitting those hot Tel Aviv nightspots, not...

... yeah, you get the idea. We'll be doing that -- NOT -- for a while.

I would've asked her how long we're gonna NOT but when she gave me the happy news, I couldn't speak seeing as how she had me twisted up like a pretzel in what she called some "yoga" stretching exercise and all that would've come out anyway? Would've been a scream. Because I was in agony.

Well, I'm real stretched now. I'm so limber I haven't moved in at least _five hours._

And I really need to pee.

At least I _think_ I still do.

Welcome to Mossad, Anthony.


	6. Do The Right Thing

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Do The Right Thing  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

**-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Do The Right Thing ---------------------**

Ziva's mad as hell at me. She says I'm not taking this mission seriously enough, that -- like everything else -- it's a big joke to me, not something I really care about.

Well, she's wrong.

I give a damn.

And I'm ready to see this assignment through.

So say goodbye to the old Tony. No more kidding around. No more slacking off. No distractions. From now on it's all mission, all the time.

Ziva wants serious? She's getting it.

Because, truth is, she's right.

It's the only way to get Jeanne out of our lives.

Once and for all.


	7. Enemies, A Love Story

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Enemies, A Love Story  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

**-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Enemies, A Love Story ---------------------**

Now that I'm into it, the Mossad training -- I like it. I'm getting in great shape -- the best shape I've ever been in. I feel stronger already. I'm running more miles than I ever have before. Those aches and pains I had when I first started are completely gone.

I'm focused. And that's something I admit I'm not all that used to.

But it's a good feeling.

I'm looking forward to becoming a new man. I'm getting there.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lots of rooms here in Eli's house. Plenty of them open but one's closed off.

Ziva says that's where Eli keeps Ari's stuff. What's left of it, I guess. Which is basically what's all that's left of him.

The old Tony would just sneak in there and look around.

But I'm going to ask Eli if I can go through what's there. For the mission. And here's why: Ari and Jeanne were lovers. How better to get even further inside that psychotic mind of hers than to see it through Ari's eyes if he's got anything from their time ... together ... in there?

All I care about is figuring out how to take care of her for good. If Ari, of all people, ends up helping me accomplish that, then hey -- I'm all for it.

Not interested in their sex life.

Don't care about the so-called "romance" between those two.

This is just business.

And yeah -- it's more than a little bit personal, too.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eli agreed to let me check out what he's saved of Ari's. Lot of junk here, most of it in old trunks -- old girlie mags, paperbacks, records (like, REAL records -- the vinyl kind), t-shirts, jeans, TONS of motorcycle magazines.

Notebooks...

Many, many notebooks...

Ari, I think you just gave me the key I was looking for.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Turns out I'm not the only one who keeps little journals.

Ziva's got her Little Black Book...

... and Ari's got the Encyclopedia Brittanica of notebooks detailing ALL his travels and adventures and ... let's see ... ahhh... girlfriends.

Obviously, Eli kept the meaty stuff. The terrorist years are nowhere to be found.

But the women, they're here.

Hmmm... Jeanne Benoit, come on down. No... no... no... no... AH! There you are, "Doctor." Uh-huh... Mmmm-hmmm... Yeah, I know all about THAT... Been there, done that, too. Yep...

Whole bunch of studying for me to do. This should be like reading a romance novel, except that you aren't rooting for the couple to make it in the end. And the "romance" only makes your heart beat fast in the same way getting nauseated does.

Jeanne... Jeanne... Jeanne... Jeanne... JEANNE! Good LORD, Ari... How much can you write about one woman? I made the stupid mistake of pining for that psycho for a year and a half but even I never...

Wait. Here's another box. More notebooks. These are in MUCH better shape -- really well taken care of. Carefully wrapped, even. The others are just all over the place; these are in perfect order. By date. These are important. Maybe Eli missed some of the major evidence...

Oh... I see.

Ari actually gave a damn about these.

They were precious to him.

He was saving this box for something big, something special.

This?

Is Kate's set.

My GOD...

Her sketches... Her handwriting...

Kate was writing to ARI.


	8. Dangerous Liasons

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Dangerous Liasons  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

**-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Dangerous Liasons ---------------------**

Why, Kate? You HATED Ari. You said you did, anyway.

And now... this.

I don't understand it. But I'm gonna try.

Okay... talk to me, Kate. Help me figure this out.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"When are you coming back to D.C.? I miss you. And you know why. I know you HAVE to spend your time with HER but it's OK. It is what it is, right? I'm thinking of the last night we spent together and what you promised me. Totally gonna hold you to that, Ari. Hey, you OWE me after what I did for YOU. (Not that I didn't enjoy doing it.)_

_Love you; stay safe - K"_

Ugh. Please. "K"? "LOVE you?" I'm gonna be sick. I know I'm giving up a lot, working for Mossad on this mission -- decent food, normal sleep, snacks, SEX with Ziva -- but I'm not going to be able to keep from throwing up if I have to read Kate and Ari's love letters. Damn... they might have good intel on Jeanne, though, and I need that. So I'll stock up on stomach meds.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"Why the HELL did you come into NCIS HQ like gangbusters, SHOOTING GERALD?!!! DAMMIT, ARI, GERALD AND DR. MALLARD ARE MY FRIENDS! HUGE MISTAKE AND NO, I DO NOT FORGIVE YOU, YOU S.O.B.!"_

Now THAT'S the Kate I know. Hold up -- she KNEW Ari already? I'm confused.

Wait... the dates on these... The notebooks are out of order. Well, I am just skimming them right now. I'll give them a deep read when I have lots more time on my hands -- say, when I'm NOT having sex with Ziva. Like, later tonight. And all the other nights.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"I've been given your address by Special Agent Shepard. She tells me we'll be working together - Black Ops - on the La Grenouille assignment. I'm to take care of him while you handle the daughter. Jeanne Benoit -- she's a doctor, a medical student here in D.C. Apparently she's the key to all of it. René claims she's not aware of his 'business' but Jenny says the girl is the heir to the empire. They're both highly dangerous, especially the daughter - so watch yourself. I'll inform you on whatever intel I collect on La Grenouille as I gather it._

_Jenny says you're coming to D.C. soon. Get in touch with me when you arrive. We need to meet soonest. But we've GOT to keep this DEEP COVER. If my NCIS superior or the other team members found out about this assignment -- or that I was assisting Mossad at Jenny's request -- everything would be ruined. But you understand that. Jenny's told me I can trust you completely and I trust her. So I'm looking forward to working with you, Ari."_

My GOD. Kate knew JENNY? ARI knew JENNY?!!! She was supervising them BOTH on Black Ops... Holy...

La Grenouille... Jeanne...

Kate and Ari -- Jenny had them doing ... what she made ME do.

I finished THEIR mission. Their SECRET mission.

Ari wasn't plotting against NCIS.

He was working FOR us.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ziva, check this out. Ari and Kate -- they were working TOGETHER to bring down La Grenouille and Jeanne. And..."

"... Jenny introduced them. Ari had said he was assisting an Agent Todd with an NCIS case. But that is all he told me -- at first. He did not say anything about René or Jeanne Benoit. Nor did Jenny. I found out only when the mission began to fail and Ari panicked."

"YOU knew?"

"Only that he was at that time helping NCIS and that Jenny insisted it be kept completely undercover. Only Jenny, Ari, Agent Todd, my father and I knew of any mission. And I was not privy to the details until the end, as I say. I did not meet Agent Todd, unfortunately."

"OK, so Ari was on OUR side. Then... what happened? What changed? Why'd he ... do what he did? Why'd you ... do what YOU did?"

"HE changed. SHE changed him. I do not know how, but she managed to turn my brother against everyone who loved him -- even Agent Todd."

"Yeah... I got a feeling I know EXACTLY how Jeanne pulled that off."

"Tony, she must be stopped. With Kort backing her she is more dangerous than ever. And their falling out will only be temporary until they again need each other for business purposes."

"Or just get lonely."

"A feeling I understand, I admit. I have missed you, Tony. I do miss you."

"Uh-HUH... So what happened to the whole Mossad 'self-denial' idea, Z? Hm?"

"There is such a thing as too much self-control, as you have told me time and time again. Letting loose is good for the body and mind, also."

"Ahhh... You are a fine student, my ninja. I'm thinking we should let loose right now. Maybe at least three or four times tonight."

"At least. You are now Mossad-trained, so I expect your stamina is far greater than before."

"Did I miss that part of the ... um... workout?"

"Why do you think I pushed you so hard to your physical limits, Tony?"

"THIS is Mossad training, too? Seriously... SERIOUSLY?"

"We pride ourselves on being expert at EVERYTHING we do."


	9. Doubt

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Doubt  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

**-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Doubt ---------------------**

Ahhhh... Denying yourself the pain of self-denial? It's great. And Ziva and me? WE'RE great. It's nice, working together again instead of being split apart.

Ziva's doing me the favor of reading Ari's notebooks about his all-consuming "passion" for Jeanne. Obviously, I'm gonna owe her big time for this. She was already tortured once by Dr. Doom and here I am, forcing her to suffer again. I'm a terrible boyfriend.

Me, I'm sticking with Kate. She's not gonna lead me in the wrong direction. I may be sickened, reading about those hot, sweaty nights she spent with Ari, but Kate won't lie.

Unless... she is.

I'll risk it. Making Jeanne pay for her sins -- and for Ziva having to read about what she's like in the sack -- is worth me possibly finding out that Kate could be the world's best at double-talk. After all, none of us had a clue that she didn't really HATE Ari -- and that she was working with Jenny to take out La Grenouille.

And Jeanne.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

OK, Kate. Let's hear it. I got ALL night. 'Cause there's NO WAY Ziva's gonna be in the mood after she reads about Ari and Jeanne doing... what Jeanne likes to do. With guys. I know I'd like to forget it -- all of it.

So... let's poke around in your love life.

_"Talked to Jenny last night. I told her everything's going as we've planned, that you made contact with Jeanne Benoit. She's pleased."_

Oh, I'm sure she was. What Jenny wanted, she got.

_"She says to remind you that it's fine if you take ANY necessary means to get the intel we need from her. Jenny was careful to stress that part about 'ANY means." She says you'll know what she's talking about."_

Yeah. He knew. I know, too. Been there, done that, still can't shower enough to feel clean after doing it. And it's been almost two years now. When will it end? Never. That's when.

_"Look, I understand what your role in this op is, Ari. And I accept it. But I'm not going to pretend I don't give a damn that you've got carte blanche to sleep with another woman."_

Ha HAH! Go KATE!

_"Remember when we were talking about my team? About Tony, how he claims he's so perfect for undercover work? He'd LOVE to have that Jeanne Benoit assignment..."_

HEY! What the HELL?!!! And I HAD that assignment, Kate! In fact, I was mop-up man after Mr. Leather Jacket Cycle Boy blew it all and got himself killed!

... and you killed, too.

Dammit, Kate, I'm sorry for that.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry I wasn't the kind of guy -- the kind of friend -- you could've confided in about this. If I had been, maybe you'd still be alive. Maybe Jenny'd still be alive. Hell, maybe Ari could've told us all the truth about who he really was -- or who you claim he was. Who Ziva swears he used to be.

Maybe Ziva wouldn't have had to kill her own brother. And Eli wouldn't have had to make that happen.

Maybe René Benoit would've met his maker without taking so many good people down with him.

And Jeanne?

Maybe she'd be six feet under, too.

And I'd have never laid eyes on her. Or anything else, for that matter.

_"...especially since he could take that girl to bed with the blessings of the higher-ups."_

Ohhh Kate... You don't know. You don't know how much I HATE myself for wasting that part of my life -- for being part of that. For being with Jeanne. It was wrong, all of it. Makes me sick now, thinking of it. I'd give anything to have that time back, to make it all go away, to spend that time with Ziva instead. I should've been with Ziva all along; she's the woman I love, the one I've been looking for. I realize that now. I'm not the same guy you knew, Kate. Ziva's helped me change. I'm a better man. Not perfect -- not at all, but I'm working on being a better guy, day by day. I'm trying.

Everything could've been different, Kate, for all of us.

Why didn't I ever listen to you?

_"But, Ari, you're NOT a pig like he is -- even if you have to act like one as part of your cover." _

Well, I'm a little late but I'm here now. I'm here for you -- whatever you have to say to me. I can take it. I'm just taking it in, not going to have a wise-ass answer or a joke for everything you say.

I'm listening.

Help me make this all right -- like you wanted things to be. You know, where the bad guys (or girls) don't just get away with the crimes. I want to make that happen this time.

You always were the rational one, Kate.

I miss you. I really do.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Where were we?

_"Just don't get TOO good at it, OK? Being a jerk? I don't want to have to kick your ass next time I see you. And speaking of that, when will I see you again? It's been too long, Ari. I miss you. All I've been thinking about is the last time we were together ... how amazing it was."_

OK, well, I said I was gonna be able to take it. No matter what.

_"I have to admit that I don't like sharing you with Jeanne Benoit. Even if it is only 'work' for you. It's killing me, thinking of you touching her when I want you here with me. It's really taking everything I have in me not to ask Jenny why we can't just haul her in and have your sister -- did you say she's the one who's trained in interrogation techniques? -- get the intel we need from this girl. If what you told me is true, and I'm sure it is, it sounds like your sister would have Jeanne giving up her father and probably anything -- or anyone -- else we demanded."_

Heh. Oh yeah, Kate, he wasn't lying. You'd have liked Ziva. And she'd have liked you, too. I got a feeling that Gibbs might have teamed you two up which... would mean I'd have to be on ... Probie's six. All the time.

_"Listen, next time your sister's in D.C., have her give me a call. I'd like to introduce her to Tony. Seeing her kick his womanizing ass would make my day."_

Making it harder and harder to miss you with each paragraph, Kate. Thanks for that.

_"I'm kidding about that. Sort of. But it's like you said about Tony and guys like him (or you; hey, YOU said it!) -- they pretend not to want strong women in their lives but, really, when one comes along who challenges them they fall head over heels and it's all over. End of story. WHIPPED."_

Can't argue with this. Who knew Ari was so insightful? Yeah. I said that. Wait... I said that? I SAID that!

_"OK, OK... I'm getting sappy so I'm ending this now. I just hope you know that I love you, Ari. And when this is over, this La Grenouille op, I can't wait to see how Gibbs and the rest of the team react when they find out you were helping us take down an enemy -- that you AREN'T the enemy."_

I'm sorry you didn't get that chance, Kate. But I'm not sure if the Boss would've bought it.

_"I know Jenny looks forward to seeing Gibbs again, even if she says she hopes she never lays eyes on him again. Can't you tell she's totally lying when she says that? It's like us, whenever we have to put on the whole 'hating each other' facade for the NCIS team. I can't stand doing that. I can't stand pretending that I don't care about you."_

I know how that feels. Ziva does, too.

_"One last thing, Ari: Please don't let Jeanne get into your head. Jenny says she's much more dangerous than she appears. I'm worried about you, about her coming between us. You keep saying it won't happen. I believe you. But from what I'm learning about her -- and about her father -- she scares me. She really does."_

You were right to be afraid. Because Jeanne's crazy, Kate. She had it in for you. And Ari. And you paid the price. So did Jenny.

She'd like to finish off Ziva and me now. But this time, she's the one who's going down.

I was scared of her, too.

Not anymore.


	10. The Conversation

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: The Conversation  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

-------------------- **The DiNozzo Diaries 3: The Conversation** ---------------------

_"So... anything good in Ari's notes, Z? Don't feel obligated to fill me in on anything involving him, Jeanne and kitchen whisks, though. That's a scenario I'd rather not... um... envision." _Or remember. What WAS it with her and whisks? *shudder*

_"Do not worry, Tony. As it turns out, Ari was exceptionally discreet about his affair with Jeanne. He mentioned only the fact that he was forced to become involved with her -- as you were -- romantically in order to gain information on her father and that the only matter about her that truly interested him was how he could eventually get the intel that Jenny wanted. He did seem worried that his relationship with Jeanne was causing a rift between he and Agent Todd, however -- that the trust they had been building was slowly disintegrating. He seemed to not know how to repair the relationship, regain her affections. Ari appeared to believe that... Caitlin?"_

_"Kate."_

_"...Kate was falling for Gibbs, of all people. Later, when he came to think he had lost her completely, he wrote that he suspected she was having an affair with Gibbs to show him how much pain his forced affair with Jeanne had caused her."_

_"The BOSS?!!! No... Seriously. SERIOUSLY?!!! Nahhhh... Kate and the BOSS?!!! She WOULDN'T... HE wouldn't... THEY wouldn't... WOULD they?"_

_"WE did."_

_"Well, yeah, but... Hmmm... Yeah... Yeah... We DID."_

_"You do not believe Agent Todd and Gibbs were ever intimate?"_

_"GOD, no! I've been more 'intimate' with Probie than Kate and the Boss EVER were! Wait... lemme re-phrase that."_

_"You and Kate were never together, Tony?"_

_"No, Ziva. We weren't. You're the only partner of mine who's ever become my partner in every sense of the word. Got that, Sweet Cheeks?"_

_"I was just asking."_

_"Kate was like a sister to me. Admittedly, she was like a really HOT sister that I... fantasized about. Sometimes. But we were more like brother and sister than anything else when you got down to it. That's all. Nothing else."_

_"You FANTASIZED about a woman who was like a sister to you? I do not even want to touch that one with a ten-foot scroll, Tony!"_

_"Pole. A ten-foot POLE."_

_"That is sick! I cannot believe you!"_

_"I'm not proud of it, OK? But that was the OLD me -- the guy who hadn't ever been in love. Kate thought I was a pig, anyway, and she was right. She even told Ari that about me. Said she hoped he'd introduce you to me sometime so you could kick my ass and she'd be there to see it."_

_"She spoke of me?"_

_"Oh yeah! Guess Kate and Ari had talked about what a great match we might make if we ever met. She said you'd go ninja on my ass if I tried any of my usual DiNozzo bag of tricks on you -- well, she didn't put it like that but she made her point."_

_"Hah! I think I would have liked Kate. She sounds like she was quite an intuitive woman."_

_"Totally. You two'd have gotten along like a couple of peas in a pod. She wanted you to stay with her if you ever came to D.C. Now THAT woulda been something -- little girls' night in... sleepover... pajama party... some alcohol... maybe without the PJs later on... heh heh heh... ahhh yeah..."_

_"I thought you had said you were going to take this mission seriously, Tony."_

_"Oh... right. Right! I am. Taking it. Seriously. So... *ahem* ... Kate wrote to Ari that she was afraid of Jeanne -- said she was worried that Jeanne was going to come between them somehow. You think Jeanne had anything to do with Ari getting paranoid about Kate and the Boss? I wouldn't think she'd know either of them. But maybe her old man did. I mean, he knew Jenny. So maybe he knew Gibbs. But it didn't sound like it."_

_"Perhaps. Then again, there may be something -- more likely, someone -- you have not considered."_

_"What's that, Sugar Lips?"_

_"A certain CIA agent who blew up your Horse."_

_"My 'Stang, you mean. And don't you think that's a little bit of a stretch?"_

_"Where Trent Kort is concerned, my little Furry Bear, nothing surprises me."_

_"Y'know, I bet you're right. You think he was in on this way back then, huh?"_

_"René Benoit went to Jenny for protection from someone who he claimed was trying to kill him, to take over his arms dealing business. Perhaps that person was Kort."_

_"Or someone YOU haven't considered, Honey Bunch."_

_"Who?"_

_"Well, Daddy's Little Angel comes to mind."_


	11. It Happened One Night

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: It Happened One Night  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

**-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: It Happened One Night ---------------------**  
**  
[NCIS Headquarters -- Washington D.C.]**

"Hello? Director Vance?"

"Sorry. I'm a lot lower on the NCIS totem pole. Also not nearly as good with my left hook as the Director."

"Where is Director Vance? I was expecting HIM."

"Well, ya got me... DOCTOR Benoit. So let's catch up."

"Catch up? Who ARE you? WHERE is Vance? He promised he'd be here this evening! I've been waiting all DAY!"

"Ah, yeah... promises, promises... Sucks when people lie, doesn't it? Man, I sure hate that. Y'know, I've heard through the little NCIS grapevine that you're kinda the expert at, you know, lying and that sort of thing. Just something a little bird told me. That little bird's name is Trent Kort. Oh! And my buddy, Tony DiNozzo -- remember him? guy you used to sleep with, tortured a few months ago, tried to kill a couple times -- he said you have this thing where you sometimes forget to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Pretty much always, he told me. I'd ask if that was true but, hell, I wouldn't know if you were being honest with me! Isn't that the damndest thing? I mean..."

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!!! I'M NOT SAYING ANYTHING UNTIL VANCE GETS HERE LIKE HE SAID! LET ME OUT OF HERE -- NOW!!! THIS IS NOT PART OF MY DEAL WITH HIM!!!"

"Uh-oh... Little issue there, Doc. See, the Director's out of pocket for a while, though, so I'm on babysitting detail for you. I'd offer you the latest issue of Cosmo that my partner, Kensi, just got in but... since you couldn't read it right now, I guess that'd just be rude. Too bad -- says this new test can really tell you if your man is shaking it in the sack, baking it or just faking it. Hmmm... I'll have to ask Kensi what SHE got on this one..."

"LISTEN, YOU BASTARD! YOU CALL VANCE RIGHT NOW AND TELL HIM I WANT TO TALK TO HIM! YOU CAN'T KEEP ME HERE!!!"

***door shuts***

"Hello? HELLO? LET ME OUT OF HERE! I SAID LET ME OUT!!!"

**[behind interrogation room one-way mirror]**

"You always so charming with the ladies, Callan?"

"Can't beat 'em off with a stick, Director. That one's a REAL gem. Just like DiNozzo said."

"She'll crack. Eventually. I want her good and desperate. She WILL give me Kort. No way in hell I'm trusting her right now."

"Oh, I don't know about that, sir. You can trust her to do one thing, I think."

"And what's that, Callan?"

"Lie her ass off."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

**[NCIS - Abby's lab]**

"... and that's where Dr. Doom made her fatal error. Because even though she wore gloves so she wouldn't leave fingerprints on the gun she used to shoot Tony? The gloves? Left FIBERS on the weapon and TIMMY, YOU ARE NOT LISTENING!"

"Sorry, Abs. I've been pricing something online and I'm waiting for the dealer to message me back."

"What'cha buying, McGee? Is it a new PC? More megs of RAM? OOOHHH! Is it the new iPhone? It IS, isn't it?!!! Lemme see!"

"Abby! ABBY!"

"A motorcycle? Timmy... you're buying a motorcycle? Do you have something against living to see 40?"

"No! I've just been thinking about it for a while and... I decided to make my move. Live a little. I'm kind of tired of being a geek."

"But you're an AWESOME geek! Geekiness and Timothy McGee go together like peanut butter and jelly! It's a combination that just WORKS! You can't go against nature!"

"Well, I'm taking the chance. I've had it with Tony always making fun of me. And besides, Kensi thinks I'd look good on a bike. She's going to show me how to ride when I take delivery."

"KENSI? This is HER big idea?!!! Send her down here -- NOW! We'll just SEE about THAT!"

"ABS! Back OFF, okay? I'm GETTING the bike! And Kensi? Is my FRIEND. So get used to it. I'll see you later."

"Yeah? Well, you just... SIT ON IT, FONZIE! ... *sigh* ... Tony, where are you when I need you?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**  
[Tel Aviv -- Eli David's home]**

Ziva and I just spent all night... talking.

Now that my Mossad training's over, it's time we headed back to D.C. to get the _real_ mission started.

We're not gonna accomplish much more here. Anything else we need is in the notebooks that Kate and Ari left.

D.C. is where _she_ is. And _he's_ there, too.

My job? Finish Jeanne off once and for all. Ziva's job? Do the same with Kort.

I gotta say that I like the way Eli works. No red tape, no stacks of government paperwork, no going through the Director to the Director to the Director to the Secretary to the Director's Director to take care of something simple.

Eli just told us anything we need, give him a call.

Now THAT'S how you run an organization.

At first, when Eli suggested this job to me, I didn't think I could handle it. Really. I just wasn't sure if I could kill.

But now?

I'm actually looking _forward_ to it.


	12. All Quiet On The Western Front

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: All Quiet On The Western Front  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.  
**  
-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: All Quiet On The Western Front ---------------------**

_Home again, home again... Jiggety-jig... Higgledy-piggledy... My psycho gun-running ex-girlfriend's gonna be toast soon..._

_La la la LA la laaaaaaaa..._

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yep, we're back in D.C. And that's all I have to say about that. I'm missing Tel Aviv already. Those sunny days I spent working on my tan by Eli's pool -- watching Ziva work on HER tan by Eli's pool... when we weren't doing 200 pushups or running 10 miles or shooting off rounds of ammo at moving targets at the firing range, I mean. Mossad training is hard, sweaty work. Especially the kind that happens after midnight. In Ziva's bed.

But seriously, folks -- I'm NOT kidding. Ha-HAH!

OK, no, really... We DID train hard and I'm taking this mission seriously because I have a couple of simple goals to see through:

1. Get Jeanne out of our lives forever

2. Prove to Eli that I'm worthy of his daughter's hand in marriage

That's it. Gimme those two things and Tony is a happy boy.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

So here's the deal: I'm back from my - _ahem_ - month's medical leave. But Ziva's still "dead" as far as everyone else knows, which is good because it means she can do her recon from here in the apartment and take out Kort with the NCIS family being none the wiser: _"Gee... sure was sad to hear about Agent Kort's untimely passing. Shame that he, with all his CIA training, bought the farm by taking a stray bullet while jogging in the park, huh? Real heartbreaker. Remind me where to send the flowers."_

Meantime, I'll be tracking down Dr. Death with the help of my new Mossad contacts. Turns out they have some MAJOR computer geeks over there -- guys so pale and pimply McTechnoid would name his first-born after them. If he ever actually found a woman to bear him McChildren. Or offer him McSex.

Tomorrow I make my triumphant return to MTAC. Can't wait to see The Boss, Abs, Ducky - heck, Palmer even.

And McGeek? I've especially missed him.

That's RIGHT, Probie! Your McDADDY's home! HAH!

Actually, I've gotta watch out for him. Keep him from figuring out what those Mossad nerds are up to, helping me find Jeanne. Word is she's outta the coma. Too bad. Woulda been REAL easy tracking her down if she was still in Dreamland. Easy to make THAT permanent, too.

Oh yeah... Vance. I'll check in with him. He was pretty decent about giving me the med leave.

Maybe he's not such a bad guy after all.


	13. What's Up, Doc?

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: What's Up, Doc?  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

**-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: What's Up, Doc? ---------------------**

First day back in the office. Everything looks the same. Gibbs' wastebasket full of empty coffee cups. Ziva's desk is bare bones. Probie's desk? McDorkyland. And my desk... Ahhhh... my desk...

What the HELL?!!!

Where'd all this MOTORCYCLE junk come from?!!! Who's been sitting at MY desk?!!!

Ooooh... a thong! No price tag, but it's never been used. Totally brand new. Right outta the box. I can tell these things. Years of training. Black. String on the sides. High-cut. Confident, bold, hot in the sack -- whoever she is. Wait... did I BUY these? For Ziva? For some chick I used to date way way waaaaaay back in the day? Think, Anthony, THINK!

"Listen, JERK! Stick to getting into your OWN girlfriend's panties... JACKASS!"

OK, whoever this chick is bitching at me right here, right now, I know one thing: I sure as HELL never bought 'em for HER.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know who this girl thinks she is, but taking over MY desk during MY med leave and plastering HER motorcycle crap everywhere? NOT the way to get on my good side. And, let's face it, I don't even HAVE a bad side.

Speaking of the "Before" photo, here comes... PROBIE! McLate as usual.

And ha-HAH! WHAT is this look he's got going? Black leather jacket... motorcycle helmet...

"Weh-heh-hell... Look who's rolled on into Arnold's to hang with the gang -- McFONZIE! AAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!"

"Tony. You're back. How are you feeling?"

"I am feeling SUPERBAMUNDO, PROBA-RELLI! How's life up at Inspiration Point? Ha ha HAH!"

"Obviously, you're doing just fine. Really... glad to see you're sounding like... your old self again."

"Is that so, McBrando? Well, thank God one of us is his old self. Because your new self looks like 1955 exploded all over the place and left its sad remains in your closet. Oh! OH! Better watch that tone, Tony! Don't want The McFonz to pull me back in your 'office' and tell me to SIT ON IT!"

"Y'know, I'm wondering... Just how 'old' IS your 'old self,' DiNozzo? 'Cause I'm noticing plenty of laugh lines on that mug of yours and -- gotta tell ya -- from where I sit, they ain't pretty. Or funny."

"Listen, Hell's Angel, why don't you mind your own damn business and, oh by the way... JUST WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!!! "

"Agent Kensi Blye. NCIS Special Ops. Los Angeles."

"I was asking HER, McEavesdropper! What's the matter, Blye? Nothing to say? You were Chatty Cathy just a minute ago."

"I don't volunteer information to jerkoffs. I find that when I make that mistake, they usually end up dead or, if they're lucky, in traction. Nice fuzzy handcuffs, by the way. Real manly. I'm shocked anyone's let you OUT of them."

"Yeah, she's a peach, Probie. Thinking of takin' her home to mother? Hide the expensive jewelry. And the good scotch."

"Screw YOU, jackass!"

"Oh... And one more thing, Pinky Tuscadero -- get your clutch-popper clodhoppers OFF that DESK! ZIVA wouldn't like it. And neither would KATE."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Vance and I are gonna have a little CHAT right now -- about this Kensi chick. She's gotta go. Callan I can handle. (Now, anyway.) But she's DANGEROUS. She's actually got Probie thinking he HAS a pair.

Yeah, yeah... I know nobody just walks in on Vance. Except the Boss. And I'm not him. But he's gotta know that our personnel situation is waaaaaaaaaay outta order. So here goes.

_[knocks]_

"Director Vance? Listen, I know you're busy but..."

_"DiNOZZO! WHAT THE HELL? GET OUT! NOW!"_

My GOD...

_"Tony?"_

Jeanne.


	14. The Turning Point

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: The Turning Point  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

**-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: The Turning Point ---------------------**

_[Director Vance's office, MTAC]_

"OUT OF MY OFFICE, DiNOZZO! I WON'T TELL YOU AGAIN!"

"Tony?"

"WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING HERE?!!! DAMMIT, VANCE, ANSWER ME!!!"

"DiNOZZO, IF YOU'RE NOT OUT OF HERE IN FIVE SECONDS I WILL HAVE YOU REMOVED!!! IS THAT CLEAR?!!!"

"Tony, please... Listen... You don't understand..."

"OH, I UNDERSTAND, JEANNE -- I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU TRIED TO KILL ME TWICE!!! AND ZIVA -- YOU DID YOUR BEST TO TAKE HER OUT, TOO, YOU PSYCHOTIC, TORTURING, MURDEROUS BITCH!!!"

"THAT'S ENOUGH, AGENT DiNOZZO!"

"TONY! CONFERENCE ROOM! RIGHT NOW!!!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

_[in the elevator]_

"What the HELL were ya THINKIN', DiNOZZO, bustin' into Vance's OFFICE like that?!!!"

"BOSS... He's got JEANNE in there! JEANNE!!! Remember JEANNE?!!! Crazy gun-running ex-girlfriend who tried to get me sent up for her old man's murder? Lured me to Tel Aviv so she could kidnap and torture me when I was looking for Ziva, who she'd ALSO kidnapped and tortured? And, oh yeah, let's not forget how she nearly killed BOTH of us on that little trip. Then she went in for seconds in Rome? I didn't appreciate being beaten into a coma with that telephone receiver, Boss! Or having my chest shot up to resemble SWISS CHEESE!!!"

"So ya WEREN'T THINKIN'!!! THAT'S what I'm hearin' outta you right now!"

"Thanks for the 'welcome back,' Boss. I missed you, too."

"Go HOME, Tony."

"Go to HELL, GIBBS!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

_[Tony's apartment]_

"Tony? You are home early... Is everything alright? You do not look... well, my love. Are you feeling...?"

"Oh, I'm FINE, Ziva! COULDN'T be BETTER!"

"What has happened?"

"Just another day at the office, baby! Rolled in at 0700, sat down at my co-opted DESK, got into it with some chick from the L.A. office, made a few cracks at Probie's expense -- ohhhhh Ziva... ha-HAH! my GOD, you oughta SEE the look he's got goin' now... think nightmare spawn of an unholy union between Fonzie and Gandolf -- and then I went up to have a nice confab with Vance about the L.A. chick's attitude -- SHE'S a bitch on wheels... literally -- and GUESS who's in the director's office for some morning coffee and socializing? The schizo third SIDE of this little love/hate TRIANGLE we've got goin' on -- JEANNE!!!"

"Jeanne Benoit... is here?"

"Yeah, she's HERE. She's REAL 'here' -- unless that was her psycho clone sitting there in Vance's office this morning. And I wouldn't put it past her. OR him!!!"

"I do not understand. My father had told me that he and the director were working jointly to bring in Kort, Hadar and Jeanne. Kort and Hadar have been neutralized. Only Jeanne remained and because of her condition..."

"Well, her condition's changed -- and not for anyone ELSE's good. DAMMIT, why the HELL was she in there with Vance like ... like they were..."

"... sick as thieves?"

"Close enough. Something's wrong here, Ziva. We're WAY off base. We've MISSED something. DAMMIT!!!"

"Was Gibbs in the office?"

"Yeah... He was there, alright."

"Did you speak with him?"

"You could say we talked, yeah."

"Did you tell him that Vance had Jeanne in his office?"

"Didn't have to. Saw it with those baby blues of his for himself."

"And what did he say?!!!"

"'Go home, Tony.'"

"What? That makes no sense! Gibbs sees Jeanne, who has tried to KILL us both, in Vance's office and says only for you to LEAVE the office? I do not understand -- at ALL!"

"I told him to go to hell. Ha ha HAH! Told Leroy Jethro GIBBS to go to H-E-double-hockeysticks! The Boss, Ziva... I talked to him like no man who's ever lived to tell about it has."

"Yet here you are. Alive."

"For now."

"You will have to control yourself, Tony. You must return to MTAC tomorrow, apologize to Vance and Gibbs and learn -- somehow -- why Jeanne is there. You do not think she was in criminal custody?"

"HELL, no! She was sitting in there like she OWNED the place! But ... there was one thing that seemed kinda weird. She was wearin' dark glasses. Took 'em off when she heard my name. Kinda looked towards where I was but it was like she didn't really see me."

"I will investigate from here and will alert my father as to this... development. Obviously, plans will need to be rearranged."

"Wait... I'm still takin' her out! Ziva, we can't back off that. It's too important."

"Tony, we must reassess the situation. As you said, we have failed to consider some angles. But it doesn't mean the entire mission is lost. Perhaps another Mossad agent would have more cover..."

"NO! No way in HELL am I gonna trust ANYONE else to get Jeanne OUT of our lives once and for ALL, Ziva!!!"

"NO one else, Tony? You have NO faith in ANYONE who ALSO wishes to have us finally FREE of her?!!! After EVERYTHING she has PUT YOU through?!!! Put US through?!!!"

"Of course. Of course I do, Z. I didn't mean it like that. You know I believe in you."

"Then tomorrow, you will report at 0700. You will sit at your desk. You will take your shots at McGee. You will befriend the L.A. agent. She may prove useful to us. You will make your sincere apologies to Director Vance. And, most importantly, you WILL make your peace with Gibbs. He is NEVER our enemy! Do you understand?"

"Yes, Boss."

_[Gibbs-slaps Tony]_

"Do not EVER call me 'Boss' again."

"Yes, Sweet Cheeks."

"That is better."

"And while I'm doing all this, you'll be...?"

"Figuring a way to make it look like an accident. WHILE you are in the office. With plenty of witnesses for your alibi."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

_[Director Vance's office]  
_  
"You better get DiNozzo under control, Gibbs. I will NOT have my HOUSE torn apart this way! Is that understood?"

"Ohhhh yeaaahh... Read ya loud 'n' clear, Leon. What I DON'T understand is, when did Jeanne Benoit become your coffee break buddy?"

"You want to be the next to get the special escort out of my office?"

"Just askin' about our new houseguest."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

_[outside the elevator]_

"Hold it. Goin' down."

_[inside; elevator stops]_

"What's wrong? Why... why are we stopping? Is something the matter with the elevator?"

"Nahhhh... Everything's fine. Don't you worry about a thing... Jeanne."

"Who's there?"

"Nobody here but us chickens."

"Please... who are you?"

"I'm a little hurt you don't remember. Special Agent Gibbs? WE had coffee together once. Long time ago. Last time you were here. When ya tried to finger Tony for your father's death."

"Yes... I remember now. I'm... sorry, Agent Gibbs. Since my accident, some things are ... not as clear as others."

"I bet. Well, let's talk about what IS clear: You and Vance. Looks like you've made a good friend in a high place, Jeanne."

"I ... I'm sorry. I can't talk to you about that."

"Ohhhh, sure you can. And you WILL."

"NO, I won't!"

"You wanna see the outside of this elevator again?"

"Don't you DARE threaten me! You DON'T scare me!"

"Just like her. Except that you're NOTHING like her."

"Her WHO? What are you talking about?"

"A good friend in a high place that we both had in common."

"And WHO would THAT be, Agent Gibbs?!!!"

"Your mother."


	15. After Hours

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: After Hours  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.  
**  
-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: After Hours ---------------------**

_[Director Vance's office]  
_  
"Everything's going well on my end. DiNozzo saw Jeanne Benoit in my office -- just as we planned. Had the expected reaction. Completely lost it. Gibbs yanked him outta here. No, I think it's gonna go smooth as silk. And our hands? Stay clean."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

_[inside the elevator - MTAC]_

"Don't call HER my MOTHER, Agent Gibbs! She gave birth to me, but she was NEVER a MOTHER to me!"

"Didn't get the chance to be."

"Do NOT blame my FATHER for that! He LOVED me! He made sure that I had the BEST of everything growing up and if SHE had ever wanted to really KNOW what happened to me, she could have tried to find out! She had the resources! And she NEVER tried to find me -- NEVER!"

"Your father made sure Jenny thought you'd died right after you were born. She was a kid herself back then. You think she was gonna go against someone like him, someone that powerful?"

"You know what? I don't want to TALK about this! Let me OUT of here! NOW!"

"Okay... You go on and keep doin' whatever it is you and Vance are doin'. But ya oughta know somethin', Jeanne."

"And what's THAT, Agent Gibbs?"

"I got a real long memory. And I remember that ya tried to kill Tony twice and Ziva once. So YOU remember this: You're sure as hell NOT gonna get that chance again. Not on MY watch... Door's open. After you... Doctor."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

_[outside NCIS headquarters]_

Never a good sign when Ziva drives. I should be the one behind the wheel, especially considering that, according to all the documentation, she's legally dead. What happens if you get pulled over Driving While Dead? Can they arrest you for that? "But, Your Honor, how could I have been going 80 in a 30 mph zone? I've been dead for two months. In fact, I'm not even really here in this court right now. Not technically." Hmmm...

We're tailing Jeanne. Must be plenty of extra cash in the old NCIS coffers lately 'cause it looks like Vance has her all set up with a personal driver. What? A few years running guns illegally around the globe and she forgets how to drive stick? Yeah, right.

"Tony, did you not say Jeanne was wearing dark glasses in Vance's office this morning?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"She is still wearing them."

"So?"

"It is nearly dark. Why should she need sunglasses at this hour?"

"Or that cane?"

"Or the man assisting her to the car?"

"Or the car?"

Oh! OHHHHH! JESUS CHRIST!

"Tony! She is..."

"... blind. Son of a..."

"I believe we have just found our ace in the bowl."

"Hole, Ziva."

"And what good would an ace do you in a hole?"

"As much good as it'd do you in a bowl. Focus! Jeanne can't see us watching her. Ha HAH! Let's go see where she's set up house this go-round. I say we look for wherever small animals are scurrying away in terror. They fear snakes."

"Fine. I will put the metal to the pedal."

"Other way around."

"WILL you stop CORRECTING me, TONY?!!!"

"Sorry, Sweet Cheeks."

"Forgive me, my love. I did not mean to snap at you. It has been a long day. And I do not like where this mission is going."

"Me neither. Especially since it's leading us to Jeanne's place tonight."


	16. A Room With A View

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: A Room With A View  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

**-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: A Room With A View ---------------------**

Here we go again. Our second date with the ex at HER place. Last time Ziva and I spent a night in one of Jeanne's little snake pits, we both ended up getting knocked out. But, yeah -- we also ended up having awesome sex in Jeanne's bed, which was kinda weird but still really, really hot, so I guess the evening wasn't a total loss. I gotta say... making love to your smoking NEW girlfriend in your psycho OLD girlfriend's bed? Best form of revenge ever. I know I felt better after a couple rounds with Ziva on Jeanne's high thread-count linen. Sorry we couldn't stick around to do the laundry, Doc, but we were in a hurry -- to track your sorry, gun-running ass down. Just send us the dry cleaning bill and we'll call it even.

Don't think I'll be getting lucky tonight, though. We followed Jeanne and her driver to some swank address here in Georgetown. Lot nicer looking building than where she lived back when we were seeing each other and she was feeding me the whole line about being kicked out of her place and needing to find somewhere else to live. Damn, I really bought that? What the hell were you thinking, Anthony? She reeled me in hook, line and sinker with those eyes of hers -- all that crying and laying on the drama. God, I was an idiot. To believe any of that. To let myself be taken in. To even take that assignment in the first place. I know why Jenny picked me for the job but I'll never understand why I let myself get so damn ... involved.

But hey... I'm with Ziva now. And that's all that matters.

Now all that's left is getting Jeanne out of the picture. So Ziva and I can make a life together where we're not always wondering if Jeanne's right around the next corner, waiting to do whatever she can to try ruining things. As long as Jeanne's alive, Ziva and I will always be looking over our shoulders.

And as long as she's alive, I'll never be able to let go of all this hate I feel towards her.

She stole a year of my life away with her lies -- a year I should've had with Ziva.

She tortured me. She tortured Ziva. She tried to kill both of us. She almost did.

I want her dead.

Yeah, but first we gotta figure out what she's up to here in D.C. So that means a night of stakeout pizza, coffee and Ziva making snoring sounds louder than Leatherface's Husqvarna in "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre." My kinda evening.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Been sitting out here in the car for hours now. Knew I shouldn't have had all that coffee. Really gotta pee. Can't because if I got out and blew our cover to go have a little "me time," Ziva would make sure all the future bathroom breaks I took would involve tubing and bags. But DAMMIT, I GOTTA GO! Sweet Cheeks will just have to understand.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ahhhhh... that's better. And what's more? I was able to do a little recon while I was otherwise... engaged. Turns out there's an apartment for rent right across from Chez Jeanne. From what I could see, looks like it's got a great view into her place. Ziva says maybe it's time she checked into finding some new digs. I'd ask her how the dead can rent a one-bedroom here in D.C. but the truth is, it's probably easier for them than it is for those of us who are still, you know, alive.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I spy with my little eye... that Jeanne's driver took her up to her apartment about four hours ago and we haven't seen him since. He was a young, good looking guy so my guess is she's got him in the sack or she's whacked him into about 50 bloody pieces. Maybe both if she was feeling frisky.

Nope, spoke too soon. He just came out to the car, buttoning up his shirt. Apparently, it's only me Jeanne feels the urgent need to murder. Guess I really am special to her.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ziva, I love you. I do. Really, Sweet Cheeks. But when we're done spying on Jeanne and pulling double-duty for NCIS and Mossad and you're technically alive again, I'm taking you to see a doctor about your GODAWFUL SNORING! Jesus CHRIST, it's like somebody...

Hey... HEY! Action happening! Right NOW! Someone pulling up...

Guy getting out of a car... heading into Jeanne's building. Ziva... ZIVA!!! WAKE UP!!! DAMMIT, WAKE UP!!!

Out like a light. HELL!!!

Focus, Tony. Light on in Jeanne's place... Where the HELL are those binoculars?!!!! Oh...

C'mon, Jeanne... move over juuuuust a little bit so I can see HIM. Ahhhh... Ah HA! Ha HAH! THAT'S IT! COME TO PAPA!

GOTCHA! HAH! And let's see who Bachelor No. 2 is...

Wait. Hold on...

What the...

No. No WAY!

_Callan?!!!_


	17. Night of the Living Dead

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Night of the Living Dead  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.  
**  
-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Night of the Living Dead ---------------------**

"Callan? Tony, you must be mistaken. There is no way..."

"Dammit, Ziva, I'm tellin' you -- it was HIM! He's up there right now with Jeanne. I'd know that pretty-boy face of his anywhere."

"Look who is talking."

"HEY! Let's focus! I'M not the one paying a three a.m. booty call to one of NCIS' most wanted at her condo!"

"Not anymore."

_Whoa... where'd that come from?_

"OK, what the hell was THAT for?"

"Tony, you are OBSESSED with Jeanne! With what she is doing! With where she is living! With who she is SEEING! Sometimes I do not think..."

"NO! No, Ziva -- sometimes you DON'T think!"

"... I do not think you are OVER her!"

_That's crazy. CRAZY. _

"The only thing I want from JEANNE is her SIX FEET UNDER! Dammit to HELL, ZIVA, I'm with YOU! I love YOU! I thought you TRUSTED me! DON'T you? Don't you trust in US? Where is all this COMING from?!!! WE agreed to get rid of her! It's what we've been working on the past month and a half!"

"YES, I KNOW THAT, TONY! BUT SHE IS ALWAYS THERE! SHE IS ALWAYS ON YOUR MIND! I HAVE NEVER HAD YOU COMPLETELY TO MYSELF AND I DO NOT THINK THAT I EVER WILL -- EVEN IF JEANNE IS DEAD!"

"THAT'S NOT TRUE, ZIVA!"

"DO YOU EVER HEAR ME SPEAK OF MICHAEL, TONY?!!! DO YOU?!!! NO! BECAUSE HE IS PART OF MY PAST!!! AND I DID NOT LOVE HIM -- NOT ENOUGH TO CONTINUE FINDING WAYS TO BRING HIM INTO MY LIFE WITH YOU! BUT YOU ARE CONSUMED WITH GETTING REVENGE ON JEANNE!"

"BECAUSE OF WHAT SHE DID TO ME, DAMMIT! BECAUSE OF WHAT SHE DID TO YOU! I'M TRYING TO PROTECT YOU FROM HER, ZIVA! SHE WANTS YOU DEAD BECAUSE YOU'RE WITH ME!"

_**[knock on car window, Tony's side]**_

"Hey, you lovebirds think you can keep it down to a dull roar? Some of us are trying to actually WORK here, DiNozzo. I'd rather NOT get made on this stakeout if you don't mind, jackass!"

_What the HELL is SHE doing here?_

------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**[alleyway near Jeanne's apartment]**_

"Kensi?"

"We're not on a first name basis yet. You stick to 'Agent Blye' and I'll keep it to 'Jackass.' Fair enough?"

"Tony, you have not introduced me to your new... friend."

"Ziva, this is Agent Blye -- Hell's Own ANGEL. Blye, my fianceé -- at least I still think so -- Ziva David. Oh, and just so you know, she's dead. As far as everyone at NCIS knows."

"Good to meet you, Ziva. Sorry to hear about your untimely passing. Also your engagement to HIM."

"Nice to meet you as well, Agent Blye. And my 'death' is only temporary. The engagement? Is still on."

"Too bad about that last part. But yeah, I hear you about the other thing. Been there, done that. I actually enjoyed it when I did it -- being 'dead' back in the day."

"Oh, I'll bet the rest of the team enjoyed it MORE. They brought you back? What the hell, Blye?"

"Um... Yeah, they DID, DiNozzo. My assignment was over."

"No, I meant humanity. Our standards must've really been lowered if YOU were allowed back into the land of the living."

"That is enough, Tony! Agent Blye..."

"Kensi."

"Kensi... If you do not mind me asking, why are you here on stakeout? Are you watching Jeanne Benoit for NCIS? If you cannot discuss your operation, I understand."

"This stays between you, me and the wall. And the jackass, Officer David."

"Ziva."

"Ziva. The thing is..."

"OK, how come SHE gets to call you 'Kensi'? Is this some kind of 'girl power' thing? Is there a ninja-meets-biker-babe catfight in the offing? I'm not sure how close I want you two getting. But now that I think about it, maybe getting you girls all nice 'n' close isn't such a bad..."

"Tony!"

"Just asking."

"As I was SAYING, Ziva... I have no problem with you knowing I was here. But the thing is, there are some other people at NCIS who might have a really BIG issue if they found out about me hanging out around this place in the middle of the night."

"Oh ho HO! And who might THOSE 'other people' be, Blye? 'Well, Tony, I'll take 'Sneaky-Looking New NCIS Directors For $500'..."

"Is he ALWAYS this annoying?"

"No. He does usually rest on Sundays."

"Alright, LOOK, Blye -- spill it! Are you here to spy on Jeanne? If you are, why? And if you aren't, WHY?"

"Yes, let us get down to brass tracks."

"Huh?"

"Don't start, Blye. We'll be here all night."

"We already HAVE been here all night, Tony. And... WHAT?"

"Y'know, Ziva, I'm gonna let it go. Along with a lot of other things you've said tonight."

"OK, before you two start up with Round Two, can we figure out how to handle this little threesome we've got happening here right now? Who takes the lead on this?"

"Might HELP if you told us who sent you here, Blye."

"Nobody sent me here, DiNozzo."

"Then why are you here on stakeout, Kensi?"

"This Jeanne chick. Vance has Callan... 'babysitting' her at NCIS. Well, there's something weird going on with that. Has been ever since Callan started being her personal bodyguard. So I thought I'd check it out -- see what's up with him coming over here so late every night."

"What's up with him coming over here... Cute, Blye. REAL cute. If this Special Agent gig doesn't work out for you, you oughta take that act on the road."

"Shove it, DiNozzo! This is serious. Listen, I don't LIKE spying on my partner, OK?"

"I understand, Kensi. Tony, please..."

"Fine. I'll play nice. What's our plan? Ziva? Ideas?"

"Kensi, there is an apartment for rent in that building across the way. I will look into securing it as a site for us to monitor Jeanne. Can you continue to perform surveillance on her this way, via stakeout? It would be helpful to learn what Callan may be doing, visiting her outside of normal hours. Perhaps it is nothing."

"OH yeah! Right. Because Dr. Doom's suddenly closing up the candy store? ANNNNKKK! WRONG ANSWER!"

"Will you SHUT your freakin' HOLE, DiNozzo, and let HER talk? Jesus CHRIST, Ziva, how do you keep from putting a round through his thick SKULL?"

"He is good in bed. Also, I have trained myself to keep my finger off the trigger."

"THAT'S right, Blye! So YOU can... Wait... Just 'good' in bed?"

"I will keep watch on Jeanne from the new space and TONY will continue his work at NCIS, doing recon in plain sight. We will work as a team then, agreed? AGREED?"

"OK, yeah. I'm in, Ziva. I can't believe that Callan would be taken in by this chick. DiNozzo?"

"Seriously, Z? Just 'good' in bed?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**[Tony's apartment]**_

"Not sure getting Blye in on the mission is such a hot idea, Ziva."

"And why not? She seems perfectly capable to me."

"Too many cooks spoil the broth."

"We are not discussing food, Tony."

"It's... never mind."

"Is that going to be something else you will 'let go' tonight? As you are 'letting go' what I said earlier about you? And Jeanne?"

"Ziva, for the last time -- I swear to you: I am OVER her. I love YOU. I want to be with YOU. The only thing I DO care about when it comes to Jeanne? Is making sure she never gets a chance to hurt either of us again. Period. OK? That's IT."

"Alright, Tony. If that is what you say, then I believe you."

"You oughta BELIEVE me even if I DON'T say it, Ziva! Because it's TRUE!"

"I do. I do believe you. It is just... difficult sometimes to feel as if..."

"What?"

"... as if I will ever have you only to myself, Tony. Jeanne has scarred you. And no matter how I have tried to help you heal, I cannot undo the damage she has caused. I want to. But I cannot."

"OK, yeah... She's ripped me apart a couple times. And you put me back together. Maybe I'm not totally all stitched up yet. But, Ziva... I'm getting there. It's taking me a hell of a long time and I'm sorry for that -- God, I'm so sorry -- but I'm trying. I am. So please... please just... don't give up on me. Promise me you won't. I love you, Ziva. I need you, OK? Please."

"I love you, too, Tony. And I am sorry... that I doubted you. I trust you. It is not easy for me to trust... other people -- sometimes not even myself, really -- but I do trust you. And you ... you can always trust me, too."

"Then don't let Jeanne come between us. Not now. Not ever."

"I won't. I promise."

"That makes two of us."


	18. Midnight Cowboy

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Midnight Cowboy  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

**-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Midnight Cowboy ---------------------**

'Good' in bed. 'GOOD' in bed!

'Good' in bed, huh?

Oh, we'll see about _that_, Sweet Cheeks.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

**_[Jeanne's apartment - Georgetown]_**

"What are _you_ doing here? I'm trying to get some sleep."

"How I so enjoy these late-night visits, Jeanne. Give me almost as much pleasure as my last root canal -- _almost_."

"Go to _hell_, Callan!"

"Trust me, honey, I've been there. And now I'm here. Not much difference, except the decor's nicer in this place. A little."

"What do you WANT?"

"To leave. To not have to spend another second around you. World peace. So many things. But since Gibbs has me on babysitting detail where you're concerned, it doesn't really matter what I want. I'm just here to make sure you don't go looking for Tony so you can go for the trifecta in the Doing Away With DiNozzo Stakes."

"Very funny. I see that you're about as good at comedy as you are at being an agent."

"You don't SEE anything."

"You _bastard_! I'm going to bed now."

"Alone? Or are you going to reach out and touch someone, you know, to finish off the evening? Like your friend the limo driver?"

"Good night, you son of a bitch."

"Yep, sleep tight, Jeanne. 'Cause when the bough breaks, the cradle will fall and I'll be sitting right here, keeping my eyes on you. Really, it's every guy's dream job."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mmmm... NOW let's hear Ziva say I'm just 'good' in bed.

...and the Award for 'Most Outstanding Achievement In Sexual Positioning' goes to... ANTHONY DiNOZZO! Heh heh... Look at her. Not even SNORING. Ahhhh yeah... I still got it. Not that I ever lost it. But I still got it. Just in case there was ever any question. Which there wasn't.

But... that fight we had. Why would she say I'm obsessed with Jeanne? There's no way in HELL that's true. No damn WAY.

Is it?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

**_[Director Vance's office]_**

"Listen, my wife is NOT happy about me pulling this all-nighter! I've missed dinner THREE TIMES this week and she's getting suspicious."

"She thinks you are involved with another woman?"

"HELL no! She thinks I'm working too DAMN hard! She knows I wouldn't cheat. You've met my wife."

"Ha ha! I have, my friend. You would not survive an affair!"

"Wouldn't do it, anyway. I love her. Best thing that's ever happened to me. Which is WHY I'd rather be HOME right now -- asleep in my bed! This is out of hand now. We've lost control of the whole damn thing."

"Do not worry. If anything, we have more control than before."

"Oh, really? And how you figure that?"

"Hadar is neutralized; I've made certain of that. You have Kort in custody and the Benoit girl will soon be handled as well; she is none the wiser about Kort -- nor is he aware of her status. We are now in position to simply sit back and watch the rest of the players take each other out. Now, Leon, we enjoy the role of spectators."

"I hope you're right."

"Have I ever not been? Now, please. Go home to your lovely wife and give the children a kiss from me."

"And you? In D.C. for a little R&R?"

"Business always before pleasure."

"Mmm-hmm... So I take it you're going to see Ziva, then."

"Of course. What kind of father would I be if I did not visit my daughter?"


	19. The Accidental Tourist

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: The Accidental Tourist  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.  
**  
-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: The Accidental Tourist ---------------------**

Hey, never let it be said that Tony DiNozzo doesn't like surprises. I like surprises. I do.

Take these, for example...

-- Back in my college days at Ohio State, when I passed out at the annual "Beat The Pants Off Michigan And The Panties Off Their Cheerleaders" kegger after some epic funneling, I woke up two days after the game with the worst hangover I've EVER had (which is really saying something) and I was tied down to the pool table in our frat house, naked and oiled up with... something, and there was a hot chick on top of me wearing nothing but a 10-gallon cowboy hat, boots and matching chaps in OSU red and silver, yelling "RIDE 'EM, COWBOY! GO BUCKEYES!" at the top of her lungs. She was wasted. That... was a nice surprise.

-- As a cop in Baltimore, I once went undercover as a male stripper as part of this sting where we were trying to bust a madam who was pimping out guys to the women her "strippers" were "performing" for. The guys would go to a "job" to "strip" and then, once the supposedly legitimate stripping was done, the illegal super-hot stripping -- among other things -- where cash changed hands would begin. That's where I came in. (Sorry... terrible choice of words there. Heh.) Anyway, I was sent to strip for a group of ultra-hot supermodels and the madam I was investigating told me that once the "party" was over... well... the after-party was all ME. That sucked because I had to bust all those gorgeous girls. But it turned out that one of the "supermodels" was an undercover FBI agent. So we hooked up later for our own, um, debriefing on the case -- among other things. That... was a nice surprise.

-- When Ziva and I got back from Tel Aviv the first time, we went to the mall so she could pick up some new clothes and other things. You know, seeing as how all her old stuff got blown up with her old apartment. Anyway, while she was off buying something sensible and with enough pockets for all her ninja chick accessories and knives and ammo and whatever else she hides that I never want to know about, I snuck off to Le Lingerie and surprised her later when we got home with a specially gift-wrapped little box of silky bras and thongs and... other goodies. The joke was on ME -- ha-HAH! -- because when she took 'em out of the wrapper, I was the one who ended up ... thong-modeling. Tight fit, but ohhhhh so smooth in all the right places. Man-smooth, I mean. That... was a NICE surprise.

But Eli David? Standing in our doorway at 3 a.m., totally unannounced, telling us he's only in D.C. to "handle some minor business, nothing to worry about" and claiming he just felt like popping by to see Ziva (and me, of course)?

That... is NOT a nice surprise.

With Eli, "nothing to worry about" means all hell's broken loose. You'll find out when soon enough.

And so now I'm waiting. For the next surprise.


	20. Roman Holiday

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Roman Holiday  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

-------------------- **The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Roman Holiday** ---------------------

Ziva and Eli are having it out right now about his little visit. Most girls are happy when Daddy surprises them but my girl knows the drill: Something's up.

She's trying to get it out of him -- whatever "it" is -- but that? Is just not gonna happen. Reminds me of those National Geographic specials where you see two rams butting horns until one of them either gives up or drops dead. Only thing is with these two, they've both got too much pride to quit -- or die.

So what's gonna end up happening is that Ziva and I will have to figure out Eli's game. Along with whatever Jeanne's up to. Along with whatever Vance is up to.

Yeah, we've got our hands full. It's a mess.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON AROUND HERE, LEON?"_

_"You ever KNOCK, Gibbs?"_

_"ANSWER ME! DAMMIT, WHERE'S KORT?!!!"_

_"Your guess is as good as mine."_

_"Ohhh no! DON'T gimme that -- no way in HELL he breaks outta federal custody during a trip to court and gets away clean. Not without somebody givin' the OK for it somewhere higher up!"_

_"If you're implying I'd tamper with our investigation of Kort, I suggest you reconsider that statement RIGHT now, Special Agent GIBBS! Also that you remember just WHO you're talking to!"_

_"Trust me, Leon. I remember. What I wanna know is, do YOU remember what Kort tried to do to DiNozzo? Because I do. And I'm gonna find the son of a bitch, bring him back here and you better believe he's gonna talk. If he's still breathin'."_

------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"Shalom."_

_"Shalom. That problem I said we have? Still there. Gibbs isn't gonna let it go."_

_"Nor will my Ziva. Or Agent DiNozzo. But it is not for us to concern ourselves with, my friend. As I told you, the players will handle everything as we wish."_

_"What if Kort doesn't bite? Or Gibbs finds him before he can?"_

_"You worry too much. Go home early tonight. Relax. Enjoy a nice dinner with your lovely wife and children. If your Agent Gibbs finds Kort, perhaps he will solve that matter for us. Ziva and Tony? Perhaps they will handle the Benoit girl. Or Kort and Benoit will, as we have planned, take care of one another. I do not see how we can lose in such a scenario. One way or another, the traitors? They die."_


	21. Duplicity

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Duplicity  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

-------------------- **The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Duplicity** ---------------------

That other shoe Ziva and I knew was gonna drop the minute we woke up and found Daddy D on our doorstep saying he was just in town to see his little girl during a quick 'business' trip?

It just took a header big-time right through the operation Z, Kensi and I were setting up.

Kensi just called from the hospital.

Callan's in emergency surgery, shot all to hell. Again. Guy's battling me for the title of NCIS Human Swiss Cheese, I guess. Sorry... it's just... DAMMIT, I can't believe this! I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! Gibbs is meeting Ziva and me at the hospital soon. We're on our way there now. She's driving so we'll be there in just a few...

OK, we're HERE. Gonna check in with Kensi ASAP. But here's what she's told us so far...

Kensi was staking out Jeanne's place. Said Callan was making one of his usual nightly "visits" when all of a sudden she heard gunshots like crazy and Jeanne screaming bloody murder. So Kensi ran up there, busted in and found Callan shot in the living room -- said it looked like he'd been lying on the couch and was surprised; didn't even have time to fire a shot back. She called 911 while she checked the place. All quiet.

Jeanne? She's gone. Again.

"Blind" my hairy ASS. I knew she was lying about that. Just like she lies about everything else.

If Callan dies... that bitch is _mine._

And if he doesn't die... that bitch is _mine._

Enough of the Mossad way or the NCIS way or the Gibbs way.

Jeanne's goin' down the DiNozzo way.

Kill first, questions later.


	22. Shoot To Kill

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Shoot To Kill  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

**-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: Shoot To Kill ---------------------**

Just left the hospital. Left Ziva there. Left The Boss there. Left Kensi there. Left Vance there. Left Callan there. He's shot up but turns out he's gonna make it. And that's great. Fantastic news.

I'll let Jeanne know before I pull the trigger.

Finding her, that's gonna be the key. This is something I've gotta do myself -- no Ziva, no McGee, no Abby, no Boss, no nobody. Just Jeanne, me and my gun. I'm ending this thing.

Can't think of anywhere better to start than the apartment where she was holed up, so that's where I'm headed now.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

OK, Jeanne... Tell me where a psycho gun-running doctor of death runs to after she plays target practice with an undercover federal agent. It's not like you don't have experience at it or anything. You did a dandy job on me back in old Rome, remember?

Ahhhh... I know you. Tim and the NCIS B-Team Vance sent in found the computer you WANTED them to find but me, I'm gonna sniff out the one you were REALLY doing the dirty work on. Oh, what am I saying? My bad -- I forgot about your, uh, "blindness." Yeah, right. Any oceanfront property you wanna sell me in Arizona?

Hmmm... let's see here... nothing in the living room -- just Callan's blood all over. Abby should have her fun figuring out what kind of gun did the nasty little job on my buddy G. I don't think she's gonna like you having interrupted Bowling Night with the Sisters. One more mark in the "Straight To Hell" column for you, baby.

Well, here we go again: Me having to spend time in the one place I always got the creeps being alone with you -- your bedroom. At least now I'm just looking for evidence instead of... other things. Frankly, that bloody mess out in the living room? Way more appealing than any of the memories I have from our little ... whatever it was. Nightmare? Horror show? Living lie? There should be a name for it but maybe there's a reason why there really isn't. God's merciful that way.

Then again... why do I get the feeling you're hiding what I want ... aw, HELL, I knew I was gonna be right ... where you keep your... _gah_... thongs?

Thank God for double gloves. Because I don't wanna touch ANY of these...

_"Just can't keep your hands off my lingerie, can you... Tony?"_

Son of a bitch.  
_  
"But you never could. Even though you keep saying you never loved me. You've never been a good liar."_

No sudden moves, Anthony.  
_  
"You can screw around with that partner of yours all you want to but I know the truth."  
_  
Don't turn around. Don't speak. Let her show her hand...

_"You STILL want me." _

_***click***_

... before you show her YOURS.

**[gunshots]**


	23. High Anxiety

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: High Anxiety  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

**-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: High Anxiety ---------------------**

I did it. I shot Jeanne. Shot her right where she stood.

Turned around and took her out before she could do it to me first. It was just like in one of those Sam Peckinpah movies, where everything's in slow motion all of a sudden and there's no sound and I just spun around when I heard her gun click and I drew first and fired: _BANG! BANG! BANG!_

And she kind of jerked around and her gun dropped and then she dropped -- dropped like a rock. Hit the floor. Blood went everywhere. Laid there trying to breathe, looking up at me.

I ran. Got the hell outta there. Had to.

I swear I thought I could do it. Thought I could just take her down like any other criminal I've had to nail on the job. And I wanted to do it, too. I wanted to pull the trigger. I swear I did. I thought I did.

But now I just ... can't breathe. Can't believe I wanted to kill someone that much. Just cold-blooded kill someone like that. Even Jeanne, even after everything she's done to me and Ziva and now to Callan.

I thought I could do it. I really did. Hell, I trained with Ziva's old man. With ZIVA. She can do it. Sleeps like a baby after she does it.

Me, I can't.

I need Ziva. I gotta talk to Ziva. I gotta see her.

Because, hey -- I really REALLY just screwed up, shooting Jeanne like that. I'm not a killer.

I'm not a killer.

God... what have I done?


	24. The Man With One Red Shoe

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: The Man With One Red Shoe  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

**-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: The Man With One Red Shoe ---------------------**

I've gotta get out of here, get out of town. Fast.

Wouldn't be fair to drag Ziva down with me on this one. She didn't shoot Jeanne, I did. No reason she should take the fall, too. She's still got a chance to get back in with the NCIS team. She's at the hospital now with Gibbs, explaining everything -- how she's alive, why she didn't tell him, what her father had us training for. Better to come clean. For her, anyway.

Me, I'm done. My NCIS future is... hell, WHAT future? I just put about three bullets in that. My future with NCIS is lying back there in Jeanne's apartment, bloody and dead on the floor.

Everything I've worked for... I just chucked it. For nothing. Because I hated Jeanne so much.

She was gonna shoot me. I know she was. I had to take her down first. I mean, I know that. I KNOW it.

But Vance isn't gonna buy it. Gibbs isn't gonna buy it. Too much history between Jeanne and me for Gibbs to buy it.

Ziva... she'll believe me. She's always got my back. She loves me.

But this time she can't save me.

God, there's blood all over me -- clothes, shoes, everything. Hell... gotta ditch it all. And this was a new suit.

What am I gonna do?

What the hell am I gonna DO without Ziva being there to help me?

I don't know what it is to be without her anymore. I don't think I can...

_"Tony? Tony, are you home? I've been trying to call you but you didn't... TONY! My GOD, what has HAPPENED?"_

Looks like I won't be finding out after all.

Damn. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I wasn't supposed to ruin her life, too.  
_  
"Jeanne... She's dead, Ziva. I killed her. I shot her. She's dead."_

This is a nightmare.

It's just that there's no waking up from it.


	25. I'm Not There

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: I'm Not There  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

**-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: I'm Not There ---------------------**  
_  
"Well?"_

_"Still hangin' in there. Surgeon said most people shot up like that would've died from the first wound but..."_

_"I already got the report from the doctors. You KNOW what I want."_

_"I want the same thing."_

_"No, you don't. I want an EXPLANATION, dammit!"_

_"That's what I want, too, Leon."_

_"Then you better find your boy, Gibbs. Because there's a HELL of a lot of questions right now needing answers we don't have."_

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_  
"Nurse? Excuse me. I'm Agent Kensi Blye, NCIS Office Of Special Projects. You're in charge of the ICU?"_

_"For this shift, yes."_

_"Anyone requesting admittance to see Doctor Jeanne Benoit must be cleared by me or another NCIS agent. This is the list of approved NCIS agents available to okay those kind of requests. One of us will be posted here day and night. It's extremely important that nobody other than hospital medical staff gets in that room. Even then, we'll need to see ID."_

_"Are you serious? Agent..."_

_"Blye."_

_"Agent Blye, this is an intensive care unit. Our patients need emergent, immediate care. We can't go around showing you our identification just because one of YOUR superiors..."_

_"Listen, I understand. You've got your orders. But I've got mine. And mine come from higher up than yours. Trust me. You don't want to go head-to-head with my superiors. So let's agree to disagree here, OK? And you'll just flash that badge and we'll get along great. Now... I'm gonna grab some coffee. Does that machine down the hall take dollars or is it exact change only?"_

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"DiNozzo?"

"Boss."

"We need to talk."

"I'm sorry, Boss. Can't do that this time."

"Tony, don't make me come find you. Let me help you."

"I've got all the help I need. I'm good."

"You're NOT good, you're in it DEEP with VANCE! Now TELL me where the HELL ya are so I can..."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ya hung up on 'im, eh? Not real smart."

"What was I supposed to do? Stay on the line so McGee could trace the call?"

"HELL, son! Gibbs wasn't tracin' your DAMN phone! That ain't his style with one 'a his own."

"Can't take that chance."

"Ya know he's gonna figure out you came to me, dont'cha? He ain't a fool."

"We'll be gone by then."

"Gone WHERE? Son, you got nowhere to go."

"Ziva's father. He'll protect us."

"YEAH, boy! The Mossad's gonna roll out the red carpet for ya. Use yer BRAIN, dammit!"

"Mike is right, Tony. Mossad will not want involvement in this."

"But THEY wanted Jeanne dead! Your FATHER TRAINED me to..."

"My father... does many things."

"Listen, kids. Ya stick with me and when Probie gits down here we'll sit down and we'll work this out!"

"Like you 'worked it out' for Jenny, Mike?"

"TONY!"

"No, it's alright, Ziva. Fair point. Couldn't save her. But she didn't wanna be saved."

"And I do?"

"Tony..."

"C'mon, Ziva -- Mike here has ALL the answers so I wanna hear what his answer is for me. You think I wanna be saved, Mike? Huh?"

"All I know is... you're the one who showed up at MY door, DiNozzo. Wasn't the other way 'round, now, was it?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"HEY! Didn't I just SAY anyone wanting to see Jeanne Benoit needed NCIS clearance? Who the HELL is that IN there?"_

_"Look, lady, I'm just an orderly here."_

_"Where the HELL is the NURSE?"_

_"Like I know?"_

_"DAMMIT!"_

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"NCIS! SHOW ME YOUR I.D., SIR! NOW!"_

_"Just relax, AGENT. We're on the same side here. I'm FBI."_

_"Agent Ron Sacks. FBI is on this case, too?"_

_"We're on everybody's case... Agent Blye."_


	26. No Country For Old Men

Title: The DiNozzo Diaries 3: No Country For Old Men  
Author: rekkidbraka  
Rating: T  
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.  
Category: Romance; humor; angst  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Spoilers: From final two eps. of Season 6  
Summary: Sequel to "The DiNozzo Diaries 1 & 2." Special Agent Tony DiNozzo's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter. TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.

**-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries 3: No Country For Old Men ---------------------**

Mike's getting word from Gibbs for Ziva and me. Says Kensi told The Boss that my old pal Slacks came to pay Jeanne a visit in the hospital.

That alone gives me the creeps but one thing about it was even weirder.

Mike said he asked Gibbs if Fornell had assigned Slacks to any case involving Jeanne.

Fornell said no.

Now, Fornell and I go way back and we have that mutual affection thing going. Ditto Slacks and me. I should be top man on the FBI's Most Wanted List -- if what they want is fashion tips. Look at how Fornell and Slacks dress; no wonder those goons have such a bad rep.

But anyway, IF Fornell can be trusted and... yeeeeeah right... why would Slacks be rushing to Jeanne's bedside?

How the hell's HE involved in this?

And do I really want to know?

I don't. But I'll end up finding out.

* * *

Ziva and I aren't exactly enjoying our time here in Mexico but more and more I can see why Mike retired here.

It's quiet. Real quiet.

I'm not a quiet guy but I'm learning to like the sound of nothing going on around me.

I could get used to this.

And I might have to. We won't be going home anytime soon.

* * *

_**Washington D.C. -- Monroe University Hospital**_

_"Agent Sacks?"_

_"Yes, Nurse?"_

_"There's a phone call for you at the Nurses' Station. An Agent Fornell?"_

_"Please tell him I've gone for the day."_

_"But, sir..."_

_"Nurse, please... I'd just... like some time alone with Dr. Benoit. Please? Do me this courtesy?"_

_"Yes, sir."_

_******************_

_"Now you listen to me, Jeanne... You just hang in there and keep fighting, you hear me? DiNozzo's gonna pay for this, I swear it. But you've gotta stay with me... OK, baby? It's me, baby, it's Ron. I love you, Jeanne... I love you, baby."_


End file.
